All You Need is Courage

How in the world is it already almost a new year? HOW?! It literally feels like yesterday when my mom, sister and myself were watching the ball drop on the television counting down to 2014, now it's almost 2015? Crazy! I guess I never noticed how fast it goes until recently since I intend on graduating in 2016....oh boy that's scary. I've been thinking of the future and where I plan and what I plan to do next. It's just now starting to set in that I am an adult and will be on my own very soon....NOOOOOO! Haha but in all honesty it's kind of scary but also exhilarating! It makes me look back on this year and how much my life has changed...how much I have changed. I have overcome quite a few obstacles, especially dealing with the wonderful business we call show. Questioning myself and my abilities. Can I really do this? Can I handle the pressure and do what I love no matter what? I found that I could. I know what I am meant to do in this world, I know that I have been given a gift for a reason. Thinking of this makes me think of the people in my life who surround me with love and how I could never make it without them. They brought me joy in times of darkness; guidance in times of confusion and I couldn't be more grateful. It's interesting to watch your life go by as fast as it does, but it also is kind of sad because it goes by so quickly. It feels like yesterday I was at Catawba and now I'm at a completely different place with all new kinds of people. How can life move that quickly? How can things change in what feels like an instant? This year has taught me that no matter where you are, things can change when you least expect it. I've been reassured that there is a plan for my life, but I have to take action. The only person that can truly hold me back from what I want is me and I will not allow that to happen. I have always thought of myself as a passionate person, but lately "passionate" doesn't seem like it's good enough to describe it. I am determined, driven and confident that I can do what I have always dreamed of doing. If there has ever been a life lesson to learn, it's this one. After what I have overcome this year, I know I can handle anything. I'm not saying I'm perfect and will immediately succeed because we all know that's not going to happen. But I find comfort that I know it will happen for me. I will succeed and reach my goals with the people I love right next to me, cheering me on all the way. So I'm sure you're all thinking "okay this is random..." and yes it is BUT with this year starting to come to a close, I feel it is necessary to spread my inspiration and maybe help someone find their own. What is a goal you've always wanted to achieve, but didn't think you could? What is something you have struggled with or still struggle with? You can overcome it. You can do anything as long as you push yourself and take action. Unfortunately, it's not like a smartphone where at the press of a button you have an answer, you have to go get it. There is a quote that I have always loved and use as my motto sometimes, said by Walt Disney himself. He said "All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." I can see my dream as a reality and it is going to take a lot of courage to get there, but I promise myself that I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go search for more possibilities and opportunities and don't worry, I'll keep you posted!

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow..."

"Is there such a place Toto? There must be. It's far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain..." What a classic movie line to deliver into one of the most iconic songs ever written. In my opinion, what made it iconic was Judy Garland. It blows my mind that she was only 16 when she portrayed the infamous role of Dorothy Gale. If you have ever been to my house....or you know my mother....we are big fans of The Wizard of Oz and Judy Garland herself. You walk into our living room and immediately walk into the classic movie room. Along with our Gone With The Wind and Marilyn Monroe posters, Wizard of Oz has it's own side of the house with famous movie posters and a pair of ruby slippers. Unfortunately not the real ones, as much as we wanted to purchase the shoes when they were for sale, we were short 4 million dollars, but I digress. The point is that movie is a favorite in our household and has been for as long as I can remember. The fact that for more than one Halloween I was a character from the movie. I was dressed as the Cowardly Lion when I was just a baby....not going to lie, that was pretty cute...and then I was Dorothy one year and the shoes I wore that night are the shoes that hang upon the wall today and wherever we've moved to they still make an appearance upon the wall. I had a conversation with my mother the other day about Judy and her portrayal of Dorothy and how basically no matter how many people play that role in the world, no one can touch Judy Garland. Of course they can do an amazing job at playing the role in their own way, but at the end of the day Judy will always be the original Dorothy and what every single person compares that actress to which is kind of a lot of pressure. My family especially are not usually people to be seen at any performance of The Wizard of Oz purely because we know that movie so well to the point of memorization, that all we can think is "it's not the same as the movie." Yes I know the stage version has many other different parts that make it not exactly like the movie, but still we can't help but think that. Every year, it never fails, the one gift we always give mom is the new Wizard of Oz calendar that comes out every year. While it's not a surprise any more, it's still a present that makes the whole house happy because we adore that classic film so much because of all the wonderful characters, but especially Judy Garland. One of my other favorite films she's in is Easter Parade with Fred Astaire. That movie makes me so happy every time I watch it. It's a tradition at my house that the last thing we do on Easter is sit down and watch that movie. Judy is so funny in this movie I laugh every time, even though I know most of the movie by memory at this point. She is so spunky and so charismatic, her smile lights up a room and her voice soars over the audience no matter the key it's in. She is a true legend and an actress that I have always admired from the time I was little to this day. It would have been her 92nd birthday today and it makes me so incredibly sad that she left this earth way before she should have. What I would give to meet her and just hear all of her stories of the movies and shows she's been in. Her career is one that I wish I can just have a taste of because while yes she had some troubles behind the scenes, but the roles she brought to life that everyone knows and loves. No matter what role she played, everyone loved it. That's all you could do is fall in love with Judy. I end this post with a heart felt Happy Birthday to a woman who showed me that I can fly over the rainbow and do what I strive to achieve in my life. Sure I may be knocked down, but just get back up and keep doing what you love. Thank you Judy Garland for bringing such happiness to myself and my family, we honestly adore you. Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check out Turner Classic Movies and see which Garland film they're showing and don't worry I'll keep you posted! 

"And Remember Our Faded Love"

Dreams are very fascinating things. Some look at dreams as just colors and shapes that we put together to create a vision in our sleep. Others, like myself, look at them as our subconscious trying to tell us something or even ways for lost loved ones to communicate. Valentine's Day is just around the corner, so naturally all the single ladies....and fellas....begin to ponder if this year will be magically different than the last. Lately, I have been looking at myself and wondering what about me makes finding a compatible person to be with so difficult? Not throwing a pity party or anything, just a thought that has been on my mind. Then last night, I had a dream that I was getting married. Good dream to have, right? Well it turns out that the man I was marrying, I wasn't all that sure about. I don't know what the man looked like or what his name was, I just know that I was getting married and everyone was ecstatic. Except for myself. For some reason that I couldn't figure out, I was very unhappy, sad in fact. Then all of a sudden I was at the old house I used to live in with my grandparents. I haven't been in that house for quite a while. I then feel a tap on my shoulder and when I turn around, I see my Papa. I immediately burst into tears, not of sadness, but of joy. He looked at me and smiled the way he always did when I was near him when he was alive. He took my hand and asked me why I was so upset and I told him that I was getting married to man that I didn't know if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He asked me to tell him about this man and I simply said I don't know. We walked into the house and just being in there with him made me cry even more. He started telling me that I need to wait my turn. He told me that there is someone out there for me, but that I need to wait for him and not just settle because I deserve someone who would treat me like a princess. Papa then said, "You're my princess." I then asked him if he was okay where he was now and all he did was smile, squeeze my hand and said "I love you." I woke up and to my surprise there were tears running down my face. I've had a few dreams with my Papa, but this one felt so very real. He was so youthful, so alive and so happy. He is my dad. He loved me and my sister unconditionally like he loved his own daughters. The end of my dream was him letting me know that he is okay and that he sees my pain, my sorrows but also my happiness and joy. He may not be here physically, but I feel him watching over me every day. As I write this post, I felt it appropriate to listen to Patsy Cline since Papa and I share that love for her. One verse keeps standing out to me and I feel like it's the best way to end this post. I miss you Papa, I can only hope that I find someone who loves me as much as you do. "I miss you darlin', more and more everyday. As heaven would miss the stars above. With every heart beat, I still think of you and remember our faded love."